InstantHitman.com - Professional Contract Killings at Prices You Can Afford.
Whether you're looking to exact revenge on a cheating spouse or to simply quiet that noisy neighbor once and for all, InstantHitman.com can help.
Let our team of experienced contract killers make a bold statement on your behalf!
If you're reading this fine print, you're either a search engine, a lawyer, or just really bored.
In any event, this site is obviously a joke. Please, don't kill anyone, and don't hire anyone to kill anyone. Got it?

How to Be a Hitman

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to work in our field.

Yes, you too can become part of our organization. Simply email your interests and any previous experience to us and and find out if you qualify. please read all the details below before you complete the application.

The application fee is $9.95 u.s.d. which you can submit via the 'Donate' button on the home page. This is a non-refundable application fee that is used to cover our administrative costs. The application fee does not in any way imply, or guarantee, that we will approve your application and offer you a job. To avoid any misunderstandings, in the event that your application is not approved you are not entitled to receive a refund.

Good luck!

you enjoy your margaritas on the beach.

Our basic full contracts start at $50,000 per head (plus expenses). A basic contract includes a simple killing that is traditionally accomplished by administering two rounds of ammunition, at close range, into the back of the head, through a silenced .32 caliber pistol. Typically the mark doesn't even feel a thing. We use Glaser Safety Slugs that ensure a guaranteed kill, by exploding and fragmenting inside the brain. Thanks to the small caliber pistol the entry wound is extremely small; sometimes the external damage is so minimal that the entry wound can completely be covered by the hair and is often not immediately apparent to a medical examiner that doesn't know right away what cause of death to look for. Typically, there is no exit wound. Furthermore, we use untraceable, first-time-use weapons.